Posts Tagged antiracism
Are you a racist?
Posted by admin in Building Bridges, DC Footbal Team, How to talk about race, Media, Racism/Discrimination, Stereotypes, the N word on October 12th, 2009
Are you a racist? It seems the media has redefined the term recently. But the dictionary defines a racist as, “a person with a prejudiced belief that one race is superior to others.” That’s a pretty clear definition right? By this definition in order to call someone a racist you have to know what their beliefs are. And unless they make their viewpoints clear, you have to guess or assume what’s in their hearts.
But, here’s the rub and an added connotation, a racist is a person who practices racism.
Practicing racism looks like, “bias, prejudice and preconception.” Racism is any act of prejudging or preferring another race. So, if I had a choice between a black doctor and a white doctor of equal qualifications and considered race in making my decision, I’d be practicing racism no matter which physician I selected.
Is anyone who considers differences in the races practicing racism? Is it okay to sometimes consider those differences? Now we’re moving from what’s in a man’s heart to his behavior and experiences.
Who decides if something is an act of racism anyway? The media? The accused? The majority? The minority? I used to look at stuff and judge it as racist all the time, but I’m rethinking that now.
Consider these scenarios from previous posts. Is using the “N” word racist? What about the word “Redskin?” Are certain types of jokes racist?
I know, the line is getting fuzzier now. Are you a racist? Not if you don’t think your race is superior over another. Do you practice racism? In my opinion, we all are at some time guilty of racism. Did you take the Implicit Association Test?
What’s your opinion of all of this? Does everyone have some racist tendencies? And let me just ask the real question I’m thinking, is all racism wrong? Let’s talk…
Rules for Talking about Race
Posted by admin in Building Bridges, How to talk about race, Interracial relationships on February 8th, 2009
Before beginning a race discussion group, consider these criteria for group members and conducting discussions.
• Select a diverse group. Members should not just be of different races, but also different experiences. Try to get a good mix of men and women, different ages, married and singles, etc. Mixing the group allows differing perspectives and opinions to emerge.
• Begin with people you know. Having these complex conversations with people you haven’t already established a bond with might make it difficult to forgive. They don’t have to be your best friends, but perhaps coworkers you see every day, people you go to church with, neighbors, and/or family.
• Determine the logistics: where, when, how often, and how long will you meet. Everyone must be comfortable with the location. The more relaxed people are the more open they will be.
• Openly share hesitancies and expectations. I recommend openly discussing apprehensions each member may have about being a part of the discussion. Answer these questions: Why did you come to this group? How did you feel initially when asked to join this group? What do you expect to get from this group?
• Listen. Listen. Listen. Watch for frequent interruptions and conversation monopolizers to ensure everyone gets a chance to talk and listen.
• Don’t expect these conversations to be easy or fun – you may find yourself angry. You may experience other strong emotions. That’s normal. Remember to practice reflecting before reacting.
• Remember, and remind the group, to follow the Golden Rule when discussing race: Do [speak in a manner that is respectful] to others as you would have them do to you.
• You can’t come to race discussions with an agenda or a platform. Be ready to share thoughts and listen to some different opinions. The goal is not to get everyone to agree or to make them feel guilty if they don’t. That approach only shuts down the conversation. The goal is to increase communication and better understand and accept the diversity of people God has created.
• Just Do It! Schedule a meeting and invite people. Send emails; make phone calls or mail invitations. This would be a good place to openly share your own hesitancies and expectations.
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions or group experiences to share, please feel free to comment. These ideas and others are more fleshed out in the book Let’s Talk about Race.
The Washington, DC Football Team
Posted by admin in Building Bridges, How to talk about race, Stereotypes on February 2nd, 2009
I was talking to one of my former coworkers, a Native American, about my favorite football team, the Washington Redskins. As I went on and on about how frustrating it is to be a fan and have them lose week after week, she interrupted me and said with disdain, “Please never use that word again.” I did not know what she was talking about.
She didn’t sense my ignorance and continued, “It’s derogatory to my people. Anyone who uses that word, in my opinion, is insensitive and racist.” I eventually caught on that she was talking about the word, “Redskin.”
Since I had been a fan of the team for more than thirty years and never gotten such a response, and honestly never equated the football team with Native Americans, I immediately went into defensive mode.
“You can’t honestly think that I’m racist for using that word to describe a football team.”
“You need to stop using that word immediately.”
I didn’t have an answer. I sat there confused and hurt. Then I got angry. How dare she accuse me, challenge me and dictate what I can and cannot say. She didn’t really care about what I had to say or my innocent reason for saying it.
So, my friendly chat about football turned into a standoff. My coworker’s response shut down any further potential conversations I may have had with her about race. I felt unsafe and ambushed. I know my experiences and thoughts didn’t count as far as she was concerned.
To me, motive is a big part of the race discussion. People will say things that hurt me because I’m a black woman. That doesn’t mean they are intentionally hurting me. If I take the time to slow down and examine motives, I find I am more understanding and willing to listen, not indict and agitate the situation.
A word to people of color - Be careful how you respond when someone does or says something you think is racist. They may not care, but they may not know. But if you react in anger, you will never find out. You will thwart an opportunity to have an honest, open conversation about race.
I hate the “N” word. I don’t use it and I don’t think anyone else should either. But after this experience with the word Redskins, when I hear the “N” word, I try not to react in anger or accuse. Instead I want to talk about it. I’d like to think we could both calmly explain our perspectives and learn something about the other side. What do you think? Let’s talk…
The Cookies
Posted by admin in Current Events, Hatred, Stereotypes, Videos, You've Got to Be Kidding, the N word on January 30th, 2009
My last post had a cute two minute video. This one is a not so cute.
This is not a joke. A baker in Greenwich Village, New York thought these cookies would sufficiently honor our new president. He created the cookies for Inauguration Day and calls them “Drunken Negro Head” cookies and originally didn’t see anything wrong with the image. He only apologized due to the outrage. Did he really expect no controversy about this? What do you think? Let’s Talk…
What’s our excuse?
Posted by admin in Building Bridges, Videos on January 26th, 2009
You don’t have to be an animal lover to appreciate this video and it’s relevance to discussions about our diversity. What do you think? Can we learn something from the animals? Let’s talk…
Have we overcome?
Posted by admin in Current Events, Racism/Discrimination on January 21st, 2009
Is Barack Obama’s presidency an indication that racism is dead? It seems a lot of discussion is circling around this question. Should I, as a black woman breathe a sigh of relief because America has finally elected a black president?
Sure, President Obama certainly reminds us that we have come a long way from “colored” water fountains, water hoses and Jim Crow. But have we overcome racism?
When people assume racism is over because things are different today than they were 40, or even 20 years ago, I get frustrated. It implies that we can let our guard down, that we can move on with the next issue of the day because this black/white/brown/yellow thing is dead.
I’m sorry, but I don’t see that as the case at all. Yes we’re further along than we used to be, but in my opinion we still have a ways to go. When we equate racism with the images of the past, we do race relations and conversations an injustice.
No, I’m not afraid of a lynching but my experience is…
…my son’s classmate says the technology school accepted my son only because he’s black, not because of his grades and personality.
…I watch a television report of discrimination against blacks when hidden cameras record how differently interviewers treat applicants based on color.
…I see the media frenzy when a blond haired, blue eyed white girl is missing and nothing when someone abducts a black child.
…my brother tells me the police stopped him for no reason except driving a sports car.
… my husband and I get poor service in a restaurant and we’re not quite sure why.
…my friend tells me I should call the police on my Mexican neighbors for drinking beer in their back yard. The don’t speak English and she’s concerned they might be terrorists.
I know that racism is still here. My race affects the way I do business with the world. My race affects the way the world does business with me. It just does. Are we further along? Absolutely. Have we overcome? Absolutely not.
What do you think? Is racism dead? Let’s talk…
Stuff Black People Like
Posted by admin in Stereotypes, You've Got to Be Kidding on January 17th, 2009
After I wrote the post Stuff White People Like I figured I’d check out the Stuff Black People Like blog as well. Interesting, the white people blog had over 100 things white people like. The blog for blacks had just under a dozen. The moderator asked for post suggestions because he only had one black friend. For some reason this bothered me.
But I added my suggestions – Obama, TD Jakes and talking about race. I have found these to be true and since I had more than one black friend I thought my vote counted. Like I said in another post, I’m perfectly willing to offer my opinion. Not as the view of the entire black race, but as an intelligent, unbiased, insightful conclusion based on my experience and knowledge.
Some other people posted suggestions as well. Reading through them, some of the things people added bothered me: playing basketball, white women, the N word, ganging up on a single person and Hennessey.
I spent some time thinking this through and have to admit on this issue, I have a double standard. This felt disrespectful and perpetuated the stereotypical black male. It didn’t sit well with me at all. So why was I laughing at the stuff white people like and a little perturbed here?
Definitely a topic worth further discussion. So, what do you think about a white guy (with one black friend) writing about stuff black people like? What do you think about the stereotypical responses? Let’s talk…
The Experiment
Posted by admin in Current Events, Racism/Discrimination, segregation on January 13th, 2009
What if I were to tell you that a white family committed to only “Buy White” for the entire year? What if I said they created a website to document their progress? And on that site was this quote about the process, “They will live their lives as they normally do, except that each time they make an expenditure – from consumer goods to professional services to real estate and travel – they will make an exhaustive attempt to utilize [White] businesses and [White] professionals. In addition to actual new purchases, the Andersons will endeavor to convert any standing contracts (e.g. loans, bills, subscriptions, etc.) to adhere to these parameters.”
What is your initial reaction to this? How do you feel about a family committing to only buy from their own race? What do you think of a family that would deliberately exclude every other race from all of their purchasing decisions?
Actually, the above excerpt is from http://www.ebonyexperiment.com/pledge.html. The only thing I altered in the quote was I put the word “White” where the word “Black” was. The family in question does not plan to buy white for a year, they plan to buy black for the year. Does that change your opinion?
I must admit when I first found out about the Ebony Experiment, I was incredulous. I wondered if this was even legal. Then when I found out they had a team in place, media backing, and national support, I wondered how we might react if a white family decided to do the same thing.
As a black business owner you would think I’d be fine with this. But I’m not. Something about it smells of segregation, racism and exclusion. Something about it sounds hauntingly familiar to an unflattering time in our history. Something about it and the support of it makes me uncomfortable.
Is this okay for a black family to do? What do you think? Let’s Talk…
“Black” Questions
Posted by admin in Stereotypes on January 7th, 2009
A few years ago a book club conversation evolved into a discussion about racially segregated churches. As the token black at this particular meeting, someone asked me, “Why do think they [black people] prefer their own churches?”
It’s funny. I am one of those people who typically loves giving my opinions–passionately and sometimes obnoxiously. It never bothers me when people ask general questions about counseling, addictions, writing or women. I belong to each of these groups and freely offer insights and presume to speak for most everyone. But, for some reason, I don’t want to speak for all black people.
Why? Maybe because there’s a danger we’ll be clumped into a stereotype and people will assume we’re all alike. Let me make it abundantly clear that all black people are not alike.
I know you think you know that, but experience tells me differently.
Before I could answer the question about black churches, Cindy, a white woman whose parents were born in England, chimed in, “I used to live in Oxon Hill [a predominately black suburb of Maryland], so I can answer that.”
I glared at her. “Go ahead,” I said, “speak for my people.”
Once she gave her answer about different culture and music and preaching styles, I offered that over 70% percent of America’s churches are racially segregated. Instead of answering the original question, I posed a question to the group of white women, “Why do you all prefer the white church?”
I resented Cindy’s assumption that she could speak for all black people. So, Cindy couldn’t speak for black people but I didn’t want to either. What’s up with that?
After putting some thought into it, I decided I may not know what every black person thinks, feels or believes, but I sure knew more than this white woman of English ancestry.
Better me than her. So, go ahead, ask me questions about the black church, black hair or anything else. I’m perfectly willing to offer my opinion. Not as the view of the entire black race, but as an intelligent, unbiased, insightful conclusion based on my experience and knowledge.
What questions do you want to ask? What questions have others asked you? Let’s talk…
Stuff White People Like
Posted by admin in Stereotypes on January 3rd, 2009
A few weeks ago my friend (white) Liz and I visited Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. We stopped at the Books-A-Million to see what the latest best sellers were. We couldn’t resist reading when we saw the book Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions
White people and I have several similar likes to include: hummus, Facebook, writer’s workshops, Netflix, kitchen gadgets, plays, and marathons. Reading the entry about marathons convinces me that I am more white than I should be. It’s true, I don’t want to actually win a marathon, I just love telling people when I’m training for one. I lament about my running schedule and how my legs and knees hurt. White people are always impressed by this information. Blacks and other minorities think I’m crazy.
I shared the Stuff White People Like with my husband Marc who, in my opinion is the expert on stuff white people like. He was disappointed that hockey didn’t make the list. Liz, Marc, and I all thought this was hysterically funny. Not one of us was offended. Have we become so politically correct that we can’t appreciate the humor in this? What do you think? Let’s talk…
PS - Did I mention I’m training for a 10-K?
PPS - Look for a future post on Stuff Black People Like
Check out the full list of over 100 things white people like at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/.
